It’s been a year since schools closed their doors and the world of online learning opened. I still remember the first day the kids went online for their learning, all I felt was relief that we would not have to be exposed to the virus. Many parents were gripped with dread and fear as they thought that they would suddenly become the teachers of their children. That thought had never crossed my mind, which was probably why I was largely unfazed.
As months went by, I would see and hear parents complaining about so many things about online learning. It came to the point where I asked myself—Am I not involved enough? Are my kids actually doing the school work? Should I be more stressed than I am?
These are thoughts I would have while having my afternoon cocktail. The first few months were rocky as teachers, the school and students had to adjust to a new way of learning. I pinned my hope on the fact that schools the world over were going through the same adjustment period, and that they would be understanding. In jest, I even told my husband that we would just have to accept that maybe this year’s kids would have different standards.
Joking aside, this pandemic has set apart the school-age children of this generation. They will forever be the batch of kids, the world over, to go through the same struggles, anxieties and new experience of online learning. Examination bodies such as International Baccalaureate cancelled exams and admitted children with their predicted grades—something I would have only dreamed of as a student.
From the very start of online learning, I told my children, ages 11 and 9, that if they had any questions about school, they should ask the teacher. Never once did I step in and teach my children, unless it was a very minimal thing. Of course, I’m there to help with homework and art projects, but not to actually teach a lesson.
Every once in a while I would get a panic thought—Oh my gosh they are failing. But when we would check with the teachers, they’d tell me that my son’s math skills had improved and my daughter was participating a lot in class, to my relief. There was a very brief moment—total of two weeks—when I thought I wanted to home-school my kids.
As for after-school activities, I downloaded an app called Cozi that is shared with the whole family and has the kids’ after-school schedules on it. It is their responsibility to show up for class on time and complete the work.
Online learning has opened up a world of different lessons I would never have thought the kids could do
I also asked all their after-school tutors to please communicate directly with my kids through email to remind them of their lessons so that I would not have to get involved. The first reason for this is so that I would not be getting texts from 2:30-5p.m. every day asking my child to log on, the second was for the children to have responsibility over their classes.
Online learning has opened up a world of different lessons that I would never have thought the kids could do. We asked the kids what other activities they wanted to do after school, and we let them try them. Before the pandemic, I would shudder every time they would say they wanted to do a new activity; the mere thought of planning the trips across town was exhausting, so we limited it to just one activity three times a week.
Through online learning, my kids have taken French, sourdough making (from a class in Singapore), continued piano, my daughter has continued ballet, and my son fencing. They also take extra math and English to supplement their school work. In the last six months my children expressed their desire to learn new musical instruments, my 11-year-old son Jaime now plays the saxophone and my daughter Rosanna, age 6, the flute. My daughter has even started Korean lessons under a teacher based in Korea.
The best part is that I can see them at any time of day. All this would not have been possible if it were face to face. My kids still follow a strict schedule—to bed at 7:30 p.m. and up at 6 a.m. on school days, a habit the school has urged us to build since my son was five (they believe in letting the kids get adequate sleep).
Jaime has become a master sourdough baker, also started making his own home-made pasta. Rosanna started a cupcake business
My children have also developed their own hobbies and learned things on their own. Jaime has become a master sourdough baker, providing friends and family with freshly baked bread, under his bread brand called The Crumb. Jaime also started making his own home-made pasta which, at one point, we ate at least three times a week. My daughter Rosanna started a cupcake business called Rosanna’s Sweet Treats, which features gluten-free and vegan desserts. Last year, for every box of cupcakes she sold, she would send one to an orphanage. My mom and dad, were, of course, recipients of lots of cupcakes and bread over the last year.
Difficult as it may be on some days, especially when we are cooped up for days on end, I really cherish having my family around all day. I learned so much about my children and I can watch them grow into little people. While each one has developed his or her own personality and passions, both come together in many things. I insist that they learn piano duets together to play for their grandparents; soon it will be a flute and sax duet. Our whole family (grandparents included) have also bonded over BTS; we watch videos and send them to each other. Our Christmas card was even Dynamite-themed.
The shift to online learning taught me to trust my children. Ultimately this goes back to trusting how my husband Rick and I are raising our kids. We’ve always placed importance on being responsible and taught them how to self-motivate and self-regulate. This is evident now when I see them wake up on time and get showered and dressed for their lessons, and to show up five minutes before the lesson. While they have been closer to us physically, I learned that letting go and not hovering over school work, has made them more responsible. We have several rules about going online (time limit, parental control), but I have had to break my own rules. Never would I ever have imagined that I would let the kids hang out online with their friends as I was strict with the iPad. Now, it’s the only way for them to see and to feel connected to friends, and so I’ve had to give in.
My children have seen so many friends come and go this last year and have been through emotions and anxieties that no one would wish for. I look at them in amazement to see how they are carrying on and keeping it together, especially on days when I myself feel like I’m going to crack.
I am so proud of how they have handled everything. They are building resilience, like all the kids of this generation. The pandemic has changed the world, but I believe that my children have been changed for the better.
