I SHALL DIE ONLY
I shall die only when God wakens me
To claim back a crumb of mind or
A spirit wafted across cinders and seas
When he strews this nodose necklace of onyx
Emerald and ruby over the spoor on the steppes.
I shall die only when I came to drift
When God discloses his left hand
Filled with wounds by his own sorcery
O Poet dancing light and shade
When he at last peels off his naughty black wax
I shall die only at the brunt of peace.
Marra with friends at her book launch some years back: Inang Laya’s Karina David and Becky Demetillo, Banaue Miclat, Bibeth Orteza, Adriana Agcaoili, and Lollie Mara
Marra PL Lanot, poet-essayist, journalist and editor, who penned that poem in her book, Passion & Compassion (New Day Publishers, 1981, 1988), passed away Aug. 16, 2026 at age 82. Apart from this volume, she left behind five other books of poetry: Sheaves of Things Burning, 1967; Flowers of the Sun, 1970; Witch’s Dance at Iba Pang Tula sa Filipino at Español, 2000; Riding the Full Moon and Other Poems in Filipino & Spanish, 2008; and Cadena de Amor: New and Selected Poems in English, Filipino, and Spanish, 2017.
Her other publications, of essays this time, include Dream Sketches, 1991, 2013; The Trouble with Nick and Other Profiles, and Déjà vu and Other Essays, 1999; 10+1: Mga Kuwento ng Ordinaryong Tao, 2005; Darna and Other Idols, 2012.
Marra’s poetry is described by National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin: “Cool, keen and clean, her verse is a lens through which minutiae are seen unfurling and details emerge in relief, like a submarine world of weed and coral seen through a glass brightly.”
National Artist Gémino H. Abad commended Marra, the poet who wrote in English, Filipino and Spanish: “Here are poems wrought from three languages—intimations from the heart’s ‘twin caves,’ honest and without illusion as the words speak true of sadness and elation through the hum and drum of living.”
In early years (from left): writers Alma Anonas Carpio, Maningning Miclat, Susan Lara, and Marra Lanot
Another National Artist, NVM Gonzales, wrote: “Lover of life and feeling…A young, intense writer… Her poems reveal the dense, somewhat inchoate, world she has chosen to investigate…Here are places where angels, so to speak, might fear to tread…Marra PL. Lanot allusions draw much from the vocabulary of music—from the practice of that wonderful art as well.”
True to form, Marra PL. Lanot boasts a mother who was a music teacher and pianist—Gloria Vitug Licad was her piano teacher and the first piano teacher of the world-renowned concert pianist Cecile Licad. Marra’s father, Serafin Lanot, was a poet and essayist like her, and astrologer to boot.
Nick Joaquin, in his Foreword to Marra’s book, Déjà vu & Other Essays, wrote: “One wonders if heredity bothers the child of a genius. Marra is doubly so, for if her father was a genius in poetry, her mother is a genius in music. Is there a conflict in Marra between the Lanot and Licad strains? Or is she—was she ever—in rebellion against both the Licad and the Lanot in her? Apparently not. This may be because her parents, never temperamental themselves, brought her up to be conventional, however exotic inside. So Marra is a babaylan in kimona and Levi’s. Ponder that paradox in this book which exemplifies it. If you get a feeling of déjà vu
Some things that happen for the first time
Seem to be happening again
It’s because Marra is seeing with fresh eyes and reporting in astonishment the old, old truths of daily life.”
Imelda Cajipe-Endaya’s ‘Plantsahan ni Marra’
The babaylan in Marra was what attracted the eminent visual artist and printmaker, Imelda “Meps” Cajipe-Endaya to her. Says Meps: “It was during the anti-Marcos movement that I first met Marra. She brought together writers and artists of the Concerned Artists of the Philippines (CAP) to study the situation of women and work towards empowerment.”
The author with Marra Lanot at Palanca Awards night
Meps continues to say that Marra educated her about feminism in different ways. When she (Marra) was literary arts coordinator at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, Meps helped her bring together women visual artists with women poets to show their interactive work in the 3rd floor hallways of CCP.
Meps reminisces: “It was academic practice to paint the female nude with live model. But when this was brought to public cafés where many oglers sat in, Marra vehemently protested this as treating woman as sex object.”
“When I was intuitively painting about the condition of woman isolated by wife/motherly roles, Marra was already resolutely writing her feminist protest poetry,” adds Meps.
Marra’s poem Babae Kami protested the objectification of women. That inspired Meps to create Sa Plantsahan ni Marra, a Filipinized classic goddess who becomes a piece of furniture. “I inscribed part of her poem on the burnt red table cloth perched on flatiron board,” says the artist who’s a co-founder of Kasibulan, an artist collective.
Babae Kami
Babae kami / Hindi pagkaing / Sa mesa ihahain / Babalatan, hihimayin / Pampuno ng tiyan /
O bagay lang sa basurahan.
Babae kami / Hindi manikang / Lalaruin, huhubaran / Bibihisan, Ikukulong /
Sa kuna o ididispley / Sa eskaparate.
Babae kami / Hindi lupang / Dudungkalan ng tanso / Hiyas at ginto / Tatamnan at iiwanan /
Pagkatapos ng ani / Hahayaang magputik / Aaapak-apakan o gagawing / Kandungan ng mga kalansay.
Babae Kami / Tao rin naman / Hindi robot o basahan / Hindi kaserola o kubeta /
Hindi panaginip na walang isip / O imahen na hahabulin / Sa lumilipad na ulap.
Babae kami / Nagluluwal ng sanggol / Na tagapagmana ng mundo / Marunong kaming umaninag / Ng hugis sa araw at gabi / Marunong maghimay/ Ng kulay ng bahaghari
Marunong sumalo / Sa kaluluwang babagsak / Marunong magmahal / Sa pusong maaalalahanin/ Marunong lumaban / At mag wasto ng baligtad / Habang naghahardin / Sa ikagaganda ng daigdig.
Marra also co-founded WOMEN, Women Writers in Media Now, and this group includes feisty women, namely Leonor Aureus Briscoe, Arlene Babst-Vokey, Sheila S. Coronel, Ma. Ceres P. Doyo, Fanny A. Garcia, Mila Astorga-Garcia, Sol F. Juvida, Fe Panaligan Koons, Jo-Ann Q. Maglipon, Sylvia L. Mayuga, Gemma Nemenzo, Lilia Quindoza Santiago, Paulynn Paredes Sicam, Rochit I. Tañedo, Marites Dañguilan Vitug, Criselda Yabes, Neni Sta. Romana Cruz and Karina Bolasco.
Early photo of Marra Lanot and Pete Lacaba’s circle of writer friends, including the Lumberas, the Miclats, Roland Tolentino, Gilda Cordero Fernando, Karina Bolasco, Shirley Lua, Carla Pacis
The beautiful Marra, soft-spoken, approachable, and easily amused was loved by our circle of friends in the arts. The equally beautiful and incredibly talented and hardworking sculptor Julie Lluch waxes nostalgic thinking about her: “Marra and I became fast friends after she tied the knot with Pete (Lacaba), who was the best man at my own wedding. She drew me not only into her magical circle of writer/friends, but also closely to her remarkable family.”
Julie remembers: “The home of her parents, the unforgettable Serafin Lanot and Aling Gloria on Mother Ignacia St. was the literary hub where the Lacabas and Lanots gathered for beer and bar chow, the liveliest, most inebriated company of the finest artists, writers, journalists, activists of the day. And of course, there was Nick Joaquin at the very center with his voice booming all through the night. She called Marra a diva. A diva poetess indeed, so resplendent and passionate. I am so honored to have done the cover of three of her books of poetry with images of my sculptures. How I’ll miss Marra, her husky voice, her naughty smile.”
I myself can’t get over this beautiful soul’s passing. We share love for flowers and our grandchildren. She would laughingly declare that we are “mga lolang baliw na baliw sa apo” (grandmothers crazy about their grandchildren). I would follow her FB posts on flowers she photographed while walking in the morning. I always looked forward to her invites to the Nick Joaquin Literary Awards which she headed as literary editor of Philippines Graphic Reader.
And how she loved my daughter Maningning. At the juniors and seniors’ prom of Maningning at St. Theresa’s College, I asked Marra that her son, Kris, escort my demure and reserved daughter. Mothers really go to such extent of making sure their daughter would be safe. True enough, Kris came with a notable driver-escort in the person of Marra’s brother Xyrus.
2025 Maningning Poetry in Filipino jury Marra Lanot (second from right), Joey Baquiran (far left), Pete Lacaba (far right) and Randy David (center), with the author (in fuchsia)
Marra would later seek out Maningning for art and literary contributions to Mirror Weekly and later, Philippines Graphic. I still remember Maningning’s short story on her beloved miniature combs collection in China, which was pilfered by some Customs collectors, when her father collected our cargo from the Philippine Customs in late 1986. We were coming back from Beijing after the Edsa People Power Revolt. Marra published it with her artwork. She also used some of Maningning’s paintings as illustration for other stories. The supportive Marra was always there for the Maningning Foundation we founded after Maningning passed on. She was the head of the jury in the 2025 Maningning Filipino poetry competition, which chose the winners last year.
Marra would always tell me how she found Maningning lovely and ephemeral, like she was always so lithe, so gentle and graceful, her feet up from the ground like she was floating. Her poem for Maningning explicitly describes her:
Kay Maningning
Di mo alintana ang kulimlim ng paligid,
dahil sa ngiti sa mga mata at sa labi,
tila ka maningning na bituin.
Di ka nauubusan ng tanong
at di mapigilan ang daloy
ng walang kasagutan.
Wala kang masabing masama kaninuman,
laro ka nang laro ng salita
habang tumitilay sa lupa
umiindak, tumatalon
sa lungkot at galak.
Palagi kang nagmumuni-muni
naglalakad sa bulaklak, sa ulap,
sa pakpak ng ibon,
sa dulo ng dalampasigan,
gumuguhit sa buhangin
at nagbubura ng linya
sa pagitan ng dalawang buhay.
Marra, however, reserved the best of her poems for her beloved husband, Pete Lacaba, the enfant terrible of Philippine journalism in his time, multi-awarded poet and book author, who with his existential angst became an activist and political prisoner.
The author with Marra Lanot and Pete Lacaba at Nick Joaquin Literary Awards
The historian Fe Mangahas liked to relate to me a page from Marra and Pete’s love story right after the declaration of Martial Law, when Pete stayed with Fe in a safehouse, leaving Marra and son Kris. When Marra called Fe one day asking where she could find Pete, who was just beside the latter, Pete motioned not to say he was with her. Pete, who would be caught by the authorities with Ricky Lee and Dolores Feria, would eventually be released upon the intercession by the couple’s friend and admirer, Nick Joaquin. Joaquin wouldn’t accept the Order of National Artist award unless Pete was freed. Marcos Senior was forced to abide by “Dahling Nick.”
This soulful poem from Marra’s book, Witch’s Dance, for her dearly beloved, is all at once passionate and compassionate:
Witch’s Dance
Nothing has happened yet / But already you’ve watched / The river in my eyes, / Already your hands know/ The wind in my hair, / Every slope and valley / On my nape, down my back, / Around my breasts / The orb encircling my waist and hips / As well as the smooth, pink / Sand of my thighs / Where sea waves froth.
Already you know the ocean’s / Scent in my ears / And margarita in my tongue. / We are like children playing with fire / With all the passion of curiosity, / Two innocents in a witch’s dance / That never ends / For we are caught at that delicious / Moment of wishing and shooting stars / When beginning seems eternity. / Already you’ve seen the night / And the rain before you came / And touched my soul.
Marra PL. Lanot, wrote this dedication in the book for me and my beloved husband Mario: “Para kina Alma at Mario, Dance, dance the dance of life.”
I tell you now, my dear friend, Dance, dance the dance of eternal life. Amen at Mabuhay!
