Persona

Why not celebrate being single?

For a young person, it doesn’t come naturally; it takes skill

Yummies to celebrate with

I recall someone once telling me that some people are just naturally made for relationships. But this article is not about the sorrows of singlehood—well, a bit. It is about why we should celebrate singlehood. My sister asked, “Why do people not celebrate being single like they celebrate being married?” It makes sense.

If I were to celebrate being single, I would imagine myself inviting people to an event. I would be wearing a beautiful dress. There would be a ceremony like a Mass or a reception after. But in my mind, what I’m describing just seems to be a birthday party. Maybe I can’t imagine it because there’s nothing like it. Imagine getting an invitation to someone’s celebration of being single. Also, there are no laws or traditions that require you to celebrate it.

Why celebrate being single? Being single is how we came into this world, and if you are able to continue being single, that’s an achievement. Being single can mean independence and being able to face life by yourself. It’s just you in your life. I do know people can be alone in a relationship yet be their own person. Being single should be celebrated because it’s just as important as being in a relationship. Being single is an art, and some people have a hard time doing it.

What does it mean to celebrate being single? Is it enjoying being alone? Or going out on dates with a lot of people? It depends on the single person. After the ceremony I proposed, people should celebrate it every day. What can they do? In my mind, everything a couple can do. New techniques and technologies make it possible for single people to live that kind of life. There are so many ways a person can celebrate.

Self-acceptance is the key

For those who have a challenging time being single, self-acceptance is the key. Accept that you’re single and there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t mind societal pressure. But what does a person need for self-acceptance? A lot of patience to shape their mindset. Probably exposing themselves to different single activities or surrounding oneself with a supportive group. Being around blessedly single people does help, too. If you don’t find anyone, just think of things you want to do, and narrow them down to what you believe you can do by yourself. Also, you have friends and family who support and love you.

But remember, you have to face the situation on your own. People can help, but in the end, you should stand up on your own two feet. Another big helpful tip: keep cheering yourself on, or telling yourself positive things about your status.

I recall movies like How To Be Single and Isn’t This Romantic, both movies with Rebel Wilson, that show what it means to be single. But that’s Western culture. How about Asian or Filipino culture? I mean, we do have movies that show single women in passing, or women who decide to become single in the end. But what do they teach, or what do they represent? They only show that after being in a relationship, they decided that being single is fine. How about people who aren’t even coming from a relationship—where is their representation?

The world doesn’t seem to make being single easy. I recall seeing this post in Humans of New York, where the woman shared how in her home country, she worked non-stop and had no time for herself. She was also constantly asked when she was going to get married. When she moved abroad, she didn’t worry about those things anymore. She has work-life balance, and she’s in her 30s and not thinking about getting married yet. She doesn’t feel the pressure to be with anyone.

In my own experience, I’m lucky to have a representation of single people who are happy with being alone. I am also surrounded by people who are single and searching for other things in life. I admit, it can be scary to let someone into your life when you’ve been so used to being single. It’s like someone comes in and you can’t do certain things that you used to enjoy. You have to think of someone else. Singleness has its freedoms, if you let yourself have them.

I ask myself, “Are we missing out on a certain type of joy by not being with someone?” Are we wired to need to be with another human being? It seems difficult and sad that the world makes us believe we need someone in our life to make it better. I mean, are we missing this feeling of love? We can be in a relationship and not be in love. But the feeling that you need someone to expose yourself to in a romantic way seems like something single people are left out of. There are secrets in a relationship only shared by couples. You can always learn things on your own, but there are lessons that only relationships can teach.

Maybe in the end, you should be proud of being single, but can still be open to others. Singleness doesn’t mean you have to be closed.

About author

Articles

Mica describes herself: “I am a straightforward person who also can be a perfectionist. But I know there are limitations. And one thing I declared to myself is to live my life as if it was art. It sounds cheesy but true. I grew up in Rizal, and I believe that it built my character and exposed me to a lot of Filipino values and beliefs. I went to college at DLSU-Manila and took a degree in Political Science. There are times I feel like a nomad because, ever since college, I’ve been staying in different places to be closer to studies or work. I’m a nerd and I find that cool. I believe in the power of learning, and I see myself as the result of years of education. Good and bad. I expose myself to a lot of experiences. I have exposed myself to topics related to art, politics, literature, religion, history, medicine, etc. Consistently, I like to do a lot of things. I get bored easily so I keep myself busy. I have to say that I love art. It is home for me. When things get rough, I always find myself drawn to it, and see it as a way home. But I have to say writing has been my dream. These days it has become my way back to myself, and a path to my peace of mind. I have no formal training, but whatever I do, I believe it develops good content. I want to write things that matter, and I believe I do.

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