Presidentiables’ interviews: 😆😢👏

Here, the free-for-all space

Cartoons by Kapitan Tambay in collaboration with Foundation for Media Alternatives #Correctthewrong (From FB Kapitan Tambay)

Social media was particularly toxic this week owing to the interviews with the 2022 presidentiables. Social media posts are this era’s opinion columns, especially to generations that grew up not reading broadsheets or watching the news, but instead just getting their information and ideas from their mobile apps.

In this free-for-all space, everyone is an opinion maker; everyone seems to be having such a good time being heard and read.

Calling out is the new sport. Some have a way of turning it into a good fun read. Here are some from this week’s social media posts and chat groups, unedited. Now, don’t get “pikon.”

Facebook post of Gege Cruz Sugue (reprinted with permission):

My knee-jerk reactions to the Jessica Soho oral exams, er… interviews. I need to watch the episode again to confirm.  Hope they post the whole show. (Don’t hate me. Knee-jerk reactions nga.)

First off, ang galing ni Teacher Jessica. Walang favoritism. Well prepared.

Leni—Siya yung studious classmate na deserving maging valedictorian. Because not only is she smart and may depth, active pa siya sa  extracurricular and community outreach programs. Pero sobrang self-effacing that the shallows may think she’s too blaah. Bilib close friends niya sa kanya, but only because they know her well enough sa echo chambers nila. She needs a personality-building, dressing room, MTV-style makeover montage for her to be polished into the kickass diamond that she is at the core and to be transformed into somebody who would wow the whole school, even the mean girls. (And it might be time to stop starting every sentence with, “sa akin lang…”)

Isko—Siya yung nag cramming and speed reading sa review ng lessons. Pero mostly nag Google lang ng quotes and nag practice ng projection. May “sauce for the goose and gander” pang nalalaman. And yung hindi siya sure sa answer, daanin na lang sa macho bravado. In other words, winging it for pogi points to wow the shallows. Ang confidence niya galing sa kanyang stint as president ng barkada niya. Major issue niya yung bitter siya hindi siya kasama sa mga rich kids-—lalo na yung dalawang pamilyang lagi niyang minemention.

Ping—He knows what he’s talking about. Matagal na niyang pinag-aralan yan. May substance naman. He’ll get a good grade sa objective part ng exam. But B minus lang sa essay part kasi kulang sa flowery words. Some people don’t like him because feeling nila may ibang agenda. And he can’t seem to shake off the rumors that he roughed up some classmates in the locker room. Plus yung katandem niya sa iskul bukol yung #1 plagiarist sa klase.

Manny—Siya yung nag review namang mabuti to the best of his ability. Uhm, yun nga lang-—yun na ang the best of his ability. And mahilig siyang magshare ng food niya sa classmates kahit nung hindi pa siya tumatakbong class president. He cannot be accused of friend buying, kasi hindi pa naman campaign season.

LBM—Absent. Because the dog ate his balls.

From a chat group:

Here’s how Presidentables were assessed if they were Doctors . . .

1. ISKO MORENO— isang tingin pa lang, may confident diagnosis agad. He will cite the latest studies, and glibly rattle off impressive sounding medicines and treatments as breakthroughs. One size fits all yung approach.

2. PING LACSON:   He would be the doctor na may years of experience, may awards pa nga. Pero you don’t quite trust him kasi balita mo may mga malpractice suits against him.

3. LENI ROBREDO: Siya ung nag-iisang doctor sa barrio niyo. Maaliwalas ung clinic niya, located in one of the few areas where posibleng makakuha ng Globe signal.
Ang advocacy niya, preventive medicine, kaya libre ang check-up. Pero she will treat all cases, give you free medicines, then link you to her network of volunteer doctors and donors.

4. MANNY PACQIUAO:  Primarily a faith healer, but he will use his own resources to make sure merong hospital and medicine sa province niyo.

5. BONGBONG MARCOS: The doctor you met at a party. Impressive  credentials, pero hindi recognized alumnus ng supposed alma mater niya. Balesin levels ang clinic, pero the doctor is out.

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