Catching live tilapia for lunch in Addie Cukingnan’s garden (Photo from Alma Miclat)
Writing this piece on the heels of the death and inurnment of PNoy, Benigno S.Aquino III, the 15th president of the Republic, makes me wonder if he would have been cremated were we still in pre-pandemic times. Unlike Hindu and Buddhist countries like Japan, Nepal, Thailand and India which practise this burning of the dead, Catholic countries like the Philippines have very low rates of cremation. However, times are changing and it seems to take the place of traditional burial, just as traditional wake is almost done away with now due to lockdown restrictions.
My husband, Mario Ignacio Miclat, a writer and former dean of UP Asian Center in Diliman, was one of those who did not have a proper traditional wake. On top of that, he was also unceremoniously whisked from the Philippine General Hospital to a crematorium immediately after he succumbed to the vicious COVID-19 exacerbated by cardiovascular comorbidities. This happened on April 3 amid the restrictions of the second ECQ in the NCR.
It was devastating not to be with my beloved husband of 50 years at his deathbed and during his cremation. The traditional wake was replaced by a Zoom memorial mass, and eulogies and tributes were given through Zoom, YouTube and Facebook. The pandemic has altered the way of life and practices we have been accustomed to.
COVID or no COVID, however, our culture steeped in Catholic and evangelical faith will always honor the dead. The Zoom memorial mass for Mario, lovingly called Doc Mic, was officiated by Fr. Sid Marinay, dean of Student Affairs of San Carlos Seminary in Guadalupe and a book author also known as Jose Maria de Nazareno. His Mass was his tribute to Doc Mic who was his Ph.D. dissertation adviser at UP and a writer he respects and idolizes.
Another mass was held via Zoom on the 9th Day of his passing. This was officiated by my brother, Pastor Efren Cruz of the Lighthouse United Methodist Church in Orani, Bataan. Indian missionary, Pastor Sunil Stephens, gave the eulogy on his 40th Day.
Apart from those Mass offerings, tributes started to snowball on Facebook from institutions which had been part of the creative, literary, academic and scholastic life of Doc Mic —Likhaan: UP Institute of Creative Writing (ICW), Edilberto & Edith Tiempo Writing Center of Silliman University, National Commission for Culture and the Arts (NCCA), UP Asian Center, UP Sentro ng Wikang Filipino, UP Departamento ng Filipino at Panitikan ng Pilipinas (UP DFPP), Institute for Studies in Asian Church and Culture (ISACC) via their on-line program Isip-Isak, UP Diliman Information Office and the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP). Filipinas Institute of Translation (FIT) livestreamed their tribute “SA PILING NG SALITA: Handog Sining sa Mag-amang Mario at Maningning Miclat”. UP Asian Center also presented their own YouTube tribute, “SA PILING NG SALITA: Mario, Uwi ka na” while ISACC presented “Doc Mic: His Life and Times”.
‘As months pass and the seasons change, something of tranquility descends, and although the well-remembered footstep will not sound again….’
Tributes in myriad of ways feel like balm to my spirit. American author and educator Martin Prechtel said, “Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.” Still, at the end of the day, harsh realities set in.
Daphne du Maurier of the Rebecca fame, writing about the death of her husband of 33 years, said: “I had seen his empty shell. I had seen the light flicker and go out. Where had it gone? Was it blown to emptiness after all, like the light of a candle, and does each one of us, in the end, vanish into darkness?”
She continued: “I would say to those who mourn … As the months pass and the seasons change, something of tranquility descends, and although the well-remembered footstep will not sound again, nor the voice call from the room beyond, there seems to be about one in the air an atmosphere of love, a living presence. I say this in no haunting sense, ghosts and phantoms are far from my mind. It is as though one shared, in some indefinable manner, the freedom and peace, even at times the joy, of another world where there is no more pain.”
Lockdown naturally provides space for solitude and solitary grieving. I found myself going back to my diary which I started 40 days after the death of my daughter Maningning in 2000. My journal entries ended in December 2007 with a single short entry in January 2013. The diary seems to call me now to fill the blank pages with my thoughts. Going back to journaling in cursive writing is like a meditation, a silent prayer to hush my grieving heart, a muted cry sent to my beloved in the Great Beyond.
But solitude could also be disconcerting and silence deafening. So, when artist Addie Cukingnan invited me and my daughter Banaue and her son Raja to her Tanay vacation home, I thought we needed a distraction and had to leave the narrow confines of our tiny condo.
It was not our first time to the gracious artist’s rustic getaway. Our whole family went there for a day trip while Mario and I stayed overnight back in 2018 for a painting session with the Tanay Artists Group and ArtePintura Group with me as their model. Both times were happy occasions and memorable for Addie’s amazing hospitality.
We lost the pillar in our family and we’ve been trying to find our way to ease the pain and find solace
The visit this time, however, was far from joyful. I am nursing a deep wound which has not yet healed, and I just had shockwave lithotripsy for my kidney stone to boot. Like me, Banaue and Raja are hurting. We lost the pillar in our family and we’ve been trying to find our way to ease the pain and find solace.
Addie’s art-filled abode surrounded by fruit-bearing trees of exotic varieties like durian, Longkong lanzones and avocado weighing a kilo apiece was welcoming. The mountain air was fresh and crisp and the cacophony of nature’s sounds was soothing. Our intimate chat was comforting. Addie prepared a spread of native delicacies from her farm—fried live tilapia from the pond, ginataang kuhol with kangkong, ginataang santol and langka straight from the trees, and many more.
Generosity and compassion are second nature to Addie. After all, she is her father John SyCip’s daughter. The late SyCip was a good friend of Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision, and he helped the latter in the early years of World Vision. On its 60th anniversary in 2017, Addie dedicated her 15th solo art exhibit to World Vision. Last year, she donated all the proceeds from her solo exhibit at the Art Longue Manila at the Podium to the International Care Ministries (ICM), an international charity that works with the Philippines’ ultra-poor to help transform their lives. ICM is said to have worked with over a million Filipinos since 1992. Addie’s contribution benefited ICM’s feeding and livelihood programs. Previous solo exhibits also benefited United Nations Children’s Fund and Good News Clinic and Hospital in Banaue, Ifugao.
Many of Addie’s artworks were painted in her home in Tanay. She’s painting more now in preparation for her solo exhibit next year, her 25th year as professional artist. To mark the occasion, she will launch her 2nd book, Addie – A Retrospective 2. As in her previous exhibits, Addie is donating the proceeds to another charity organization called Bukang Liwayway.
Her Tanay home, enlivened by her paintings and those of her artist friends, has given joy and comfort to many of her friends. I have happy memories of this abode with my husband. In his absence now, I found in this home respite from my grief.
Meanwhile, Doc Mic, bless his soul, has left behind three manuscripts he completed right before he passed away—poetry, essays, and a novel. The three books in a limited boxed hardbound commemorative edition will be launched by the Maningning Miclat Art Foundation, Inc. (MMAFI) back-to-back with the 2021 Maningning Poetry Awards on Sept. 12, 2021, Docmic’s 72nd birthday. The Miclat book project is supported by the UP Chancellor’s Office, UP ICW and FIT and will benefit MMAFI.
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